I Died For the Sun Rays
by fallen for your eyes
Summary: Two days ago, when everything was over, when she was talking to Kensi, she said she couldn't imagine losing someone that close to you. Kensi was thinking of Deeks. But Nell. Nell was thinking of Eric. Or, what happens after the finale. Post 8x24


The beach at sunset is magical. Nell is convinced the world could be about to end, but she would be okay with it if she could watch the sunset first.

Somehow, it makes even the worst days seem bearable.

That's where she finds him, slumped on a swing, watching the sky turn pink. It's been two days. Two days since they lost Michelle, two days since they nearly lost Sam, two days since she's seen him.

The sand gets in her tights as she makes her way to the swings. For a moment, she doesn't say anything, just watches sky turn from pink to red, just watches the water hit the sand.

"Hey." Her elbow nudges his arm as she starts to swing, back and forth, back and forth. Eric jumps. His eyes glaze over her face, and the smallest of smiles settles on his lips.

"Hey."

Silence surrounds them again. A seagull cries overhead. His swing creaks.

"How are you?" She turns back to the ocean. Looking at him is too much. She can see the dark circles under his eyes, the extra scruff on his cheeks. He's probably doing as well as she is, if not worse. He's the one who killed someone for the first time this year. Just as he was getting better at handling it, it happened again, and this time he saw the consequences, in real time, not over a computer screen.

And everything with Kensi, and Sam, and _Michelle._

"Hanging in there." he shrugs. The sunset paints his face orange and he's still so beautiful it makes her heart hurt.

They had been surrounded by so much darkness this year and Nell doesn't know how much more she can take.

But there was also so much happiness. Kensi was okay, they had kissed, Callen found his family, Kensi and Deeks were finally engaged.

"Did you hear about Kensi and Deeks?" She asks, angry at the silence, angry at the fact that she can't think of what to say to him.

"Yeah." Eric smiles, for real this time. "Kens called me yesterday."

"I'm so happy for them."

"Me too."

The silence is back and Nell wants to scream. He's her best friend, the person who is always there for her, and she feels like she doesn't know how to talk to him. They've never been good at talking about important things like feelings and such, but she wants to talk to him now. She needs to. She needs to know that he's okay, that they are okay.

The last time they talked about feelings, Eric was forced to so they could protect their undercover. The time before that was with post it notes.

"Do you think Sam will be okay?" She says, more of a whisper than anything else.

"I –" Eric falters, his swing suddenly less stable. "He's lost so much." He pauses, stopping his swing before it collides with hers. "I mean, we're in the business of losing people, of losing friends. Before you came, we lost out Project Manager, Mace. And then within a few weeks of her dying, Dom died right in front of us, seconds after we saved him. And Sam, he lost this kid Moe, someone he brought over from Sudan when he was just a kid, and now Michelle. He's been with Michelle since before I joined NCIS. I mean, I don't know if I would be able to come back from that. To come back from losing my most important person in the world."

From the corner of her eye, she watches him brush a tear away.

She's going to say something, but a soccer ball flies in their direction, almost hitting her. Eric shoots his hand out and stops it, just before it does, tossing it back to the kids who lost it.

His hand slides down her arm, and he squeezes her hand before he takes it away, eyes focused on the water again. The sun is just about to kiss the sea. She can see the moon in the distance.

"You know you're important to me, right?"

Eric's swing stops again, but he doesn't look at her. "Of course. You're important to me too."

It's a beginning. It means something.

Two days ago, when everything was over, when she was talking to Kensi, she said she couldn't imagine losing someone that close to you.

Kensi was thinking of Deeks. But Nell.

Nell was thinking of Eric.

"No. I mean…" She pauses, not knowing the right words. This is Eric Beale. Her best friend. The man she might be in love with, if she allows herself to be honest. "You're the Han to my Leia."

"What?" He twists his swing so he can look at her.

"You're the Topher to my Bennet, the Wash to my Zoë, the Mulder to my Scully." She pauses again, so she can face him fully. The sun is nearly gone now, the last sunrays dancing in his hair. "You're the Deeks to my Kensi."

His lips are just as soft as she remembers them. Soft, and warm, and present.

He pulls back too soon, and she can't read his expression.

"I'm sorry." He starts to pull away, but she grabs his hand before it can leave her cheek.

"I'm not." She presses their foreheads together, laces her fingers through his. "You're not just important to me, Eric, you're my most important."

"Nell…"

"Wait. Life is short. We know this. Every day we go into work we don't know if our friends are going to make it out. And I know, I know the last time we kissed, neither of us were really ready for it, or for anything after, so we didn't talk about it. And if you don't want to we don't have to, but I just –"

"Nell –"

"I just need you to know. You are my most important person, and I don't know what I would do without you." A tear falls down her cheek, and he brushes it away.

"Nell." He nudges her chin until she looks at him. "You know, nearly all of those fictional couples you said don't have happy endings."

"Oh, my god."

His face breaks out into a smile, and he pulls her closer. "But I get it. You're the Elizabeth to my Will." His nose bumps her. "The Lois Lane to my Clark Kent." He tucks a piece of hair behind her ear. "The Buttercup to my Westley. You're my best friend, Nell Jones. My most important." He teases, using her words. "And I'm ready this time, if you are."

Instead of answering him, she surges forward, capturing his lips again. The momentum is too strong, and she falls on top of him, knocking him off the swing and both of them into the sand.

"You okay?" He asks, brushing her hair back, dusting the sand off her cheeks.

She leans closer so she can kiss him again. "I'm going to be."

The sun completely disappears into the ocean, leaving only the faint colors of day behind. Nell Jones has sand in her tights and salt water on her cheeks. But she also had Eric Beale.

And as long as she has him, she knows everything is going to be okay.

* * *

 **This idea has been floating around in my head since the finale, but the words never seemed to work. Only took the entire summer. This is mostly based on what Nell says just before Kensi proposes to Deeks. I like to think when she was talking about losing someone that close to you, she was thinking about Eric. The fictional couples mentioned are from Star Wars, Doll House, Firefly, The X Files, Pirates of the Caribbean, Superman, and The Princess Bride. I'd like to think they watched most of these together. I can't wait for them to be back. Here's to hoping we get some development. Title is from "Old Eden" by Honeywater because I am obsessed with it. Thank you so much for reading!**


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